Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries get physical

Opening scene: Kim Kardashian is perched on Kris Humphries' lap. They are sitting in their New York apartment. Kim and Kourtney are getting ready to head to L.A., leaving Scott Disick and Kris home in New York alone.Right away, trouble begins.
Kris says they might have a few friends over, and Kourtney and Kim tell the guys that's not allowed. Kourtney says they don't want people "around Mason's toys and our clothes. Why don't you go out?"
Kris says he wants to party at their place, and he wants Scott to side with him, but Scott says, "Leave me out of this."
"Scott, you're whipped," says Kris. "She's going to think it's okay for me to act like that and that's the norm. That is not the norm with us."
At this point, Kim looks like she's sneering at Kris. He burps. "That is so gross," she says. But then she begins to pick at something in his teeth with her nail. "Stop!" he says, and starts grabbing at her head: "You have bumps on your face."
"Get off me!" she says. And Kim, barefoot, kicks Kris in the thigh with her heel.
"Baby, that hurt!" says Kris.
Scott points out that they are messing with their careers if she hurts his legs and he damages her face. Scott's actually the closest thing to a voice of reason in this episode.
"I'm getting off," says Kim, and she walks away.
So here we go. Another Sunday night episode of Why Kim and Kris Divorced, also known as E!'s Kourtney and Kim Take New York.
Subplot: Kris Jenner calls Kim to tell her that Kim's best friend, Jonathan Cheban, is writing a tell-all book and plans to tell all about Kim. "My heart can't take it," Kim tells Kourtney. So Kim goes to dinner with Jonathan and calls him out on it. "You're using me like everyone else," she says and stomps out before he can spit out an explanation.
She decides to tweet that she can't trust anyone.
By Denise Truscello, WireImage
Another subplot: Scott wants to get in touch with his Jewish roots so he goes to a deli and talks to a rabbi.Back to the party planning! Kris and Scott are at a restaurant with some pals. Kris is telling them he wants to have people over and Scott points out that Kourtney and Kim both said not to. "You're just like Bruce (Jenner) and all the other ... "whipped Kardashian men," says Kris.
He adds, "It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees, bro."
Cut to L.A.: Mom Kris, Kim and Kourtney are discussing Jonathan's tell-all. Will he write that Kim's a diva (witch)? Says mom Kris: "She likes white flowers and pink M&Ms? What could he say?" They discuss suing him. Kim wants to try to get a copy of the book. "I will be all over this guy," promises mom Kris to fretful baby Kimmy.
But first the sisters make their biggest appearance ever at a Sears store. And while they're doing that, husband Kris is back home ordering up lots of ice, a big bottle of Patron and a keg of beer.
"I feel like Kim and Kourtney are trying to make the rules of the house, but if I want to have a couple people over, I'm going to have a couple people over," says Kris. They run out of red Solo cups as the place fills up with people and pizza. Scott walks in, points to the pizza boxes, bottles and empty cups and says, "Look at this. This is disgusting!" He tells Kris to make the people leave.
The next morning, Kris threatens Scott when Kourtney calls. "You tell her anything, I'm going to kill you." Instead, Scott talks to Kourtney about rediscovering Judaism.
"Why should we live in a home where we feel like we can't have a party?" says broken-record Kris to Scott, adding, "This is the first of many small get-togethers we'll be having when they're gone."
Back in L.A, Kim's eating crow. Her mom got a copy of Jonathan's "tell-all" book proposal and it's nothing but flattering, as far as Kim goes. "I feel really bad," says Kim.
Back in New York, Kris has called housekeeping to come clean up his party mess - just before Kourtney and Kim arrive. Oops, the maids forgot the four empty bottles of Vodka. But Kim's too busy worrying about Jonathan to notice.
OMG! Someone emailed Kim photos from Kris' party. "I honestly am going to KILL Kris," says Kim.
Scott tries to take the blame, but Kris decides he can't let Scott take the fall. "Don't blame Scott. I just kind of had people over."
"You had people over?" Kim said. "How embarrassing is that to me? You don't get it."
The argument almost gets heated. It's almost exciting. For a minute.
"I had a handful of people over..." says Kris.
"I don't care. No one is allowed in our suite. This is our private space," says Kim.
Kris vows that "next time..."
Kim says, "There won't be a next time."
Says Kris, "Next time, I'll just make sure only my close friends" come over.
Welcome to Kardashianland, Kris!
Meanwhile, Kim marches over to Jonathan's place and bangs on the door. He lets her in. She says she's sorry. He refuses to accept her apology and she leaves.
Back at the apartment, Kris is lounging on the bed in his tank top as Kim comes in, wearing a furry coat. Kris apologizes again for the party, and they talk a little bit about how to patch things up with Jonathan.
Kris suggests writing something for Jonathan about the book and Kim likes the idea. She starts working on a forward for the book. Kris winds up sending her forward to Jonathan, who is touched. He comes over and the two are BFFs again. Kim's even happy with her hubby for going into her computer and sending it to Jonathan.

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